marți, 4 ianuarie 2011

If I didn't have you...

Si au trecut si Sarbatorile cu risipa de filme siropoase aferente. Cu Mosi Craciuni, Oameni de zapada vorbitori, si... bine -nteles mult temutele si uratele de masculi COMEDII ROMANTICE. Kilograme, tone de filmulete roz si plangacioase, pufoase si parfumate. La care el trebuie sa se uite alaturi de tine, sa te tina in brate, sa te hraneasca cu bombonele si ciocolatica in timp ce tu te zgaiesti la Hugh Grant sau la alt pussy boy cu ochi de ursulet de plus. Si in pauza sa iti faca ceai si masaj la talpi.
HORROR! Ask any guy. 

Hollywoodul se chinuie sa ne mai ademeneasca inca cu mitul femeii si barbatului unic, doar EL, doar EA, singurul si irepetabilul, ea unica si desavarsita. Va doresc auditie placuta si aveti rabdarica cu textul....merita. Poate ca odata vor face si o comedie romantica cu Tim Minchin. La aia m-as uita.

Yep yeah
If I didn't have you

If I didn't have you to hold me tight
If I didn't have you to lie with at night
If I didn't have you to share my sights
And to kiss me and dry my tears when I cry...

Well I, really think that I would...

Have somebody else.

If I didn't have you, someone else would do
Your love is one in a million
You couldn't buy it at any price

But of the 9 point 9 hundred thousand other loves,
Statistically some of them would be equally nice.

Or maybe not as nice but say, smarter than you...
Or dumber but better at sport or...

I'm just saying
(Really think that I would)
(Have somebody else)
If I didn't have you someone else would do

If I were a rich man
And did a diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddly
I guess I would be with a surgeon or a model
Or any of the royals or a kennedy
Or a nymphomonical exhibitionist heiress to a large chain of hotels

If I were a rich man maybe I would fiddle
Fiddle diddle diddle with the rich man girls

I'm not saying that I'd not love you if I was wealthy or handsome
But realistically there's lots of fish in the sea
And if I had a different rod I would concievably land some

Even though I am fiscally consistantly pitiable
And considerably less brad pitt than brad pitiful
And I'm really so poor and ugly that you reckon only you could possibly love me
And I
(Really think that I would)
(Have somebody else)
Oh yeah

Look, I'm not undervaluing what we've got when I say
That given the role chaos inevitably plays in the inherently flawed notion of fate,
It's obstruse to deduse that I've found my soulmate at the age of 17
It's just mathematically unlikely that at a university in perth
I happened to stumble on the one girl on earth specifically designed for me

And if I may conjecture a further objection love is nothing to do with destined perfection
The connection is strengthened the affection simply grows over time
Like a flower
Or a mushroom
Or a guinea pig
Or a vine
Or a sponge
Or bigotry
... or a banana (banana)

And love is made more powerful by the ongoing drama of shared experience and synergy
And symbiotic empathy or something like that...

So I trust it would go without saying
That I would feel really very sad if tomorrow you were to fall off something high
Or catch something bad

But I'm just saying
I don't think you're special
I mean... I think your special
You fall within a Bell curve

I mean, I'm just saying I
(Think that I would)
Probably (Have somebody else)

I think you are unique and beautiful
You make me happy just by being around

But objectively you would have to agree that baby when I found you
Options are relatively thin on the ground
Your lovely but there must be girls as lovely as you
Or maybe more open to spanking or scrabble...
I'm just saying

(That I think that I would)
(Have somebody else)
I mean I reckon it's pretty likely that if for example
My first girlfriend jackie hadn't dumped me
After I kissed winstons ex girlfriend neah at stephs party back in 1993

And our variables would probably have been altered by the absence of that event
To have meant the advent of a tangential narrative and which we don't meet.

Which is to say there exists a theoretical hypothetical parallel life
Where what is is not as it is and I am not your husband and you are not my wife

And I am a stuntman living in LA
Married to a small blonde portugese skier
Who when she's not training
Does abstract painting
Practises yoga
And brews her own beer
And really like making home movies
And suffers neck down alopecia

But with all my heart and all my mind I know one thing is true
I have just one life and just one love and love that love is you
And if it wasn't for you
Baby you
(I really think that I would)
(Have somebody else)
Oh yeah
If I didn't have you someone else would do

Un comentariu:

Mircea Alex spunea...

Mai mult decat amuzant, pentru cine are urechi de auzit si ochi.. de citit! :)